Today I'd like to revisit the moment when Whitman captured my attention. I was nearing the end of "Song of Myself" which is one of the longest poems I've ever read - there were parts that seemed to drag on and there were parts that I didn't agree with. I went through my own emotional roller coaster as I tried to figure out what Whitman actually wanted in life. Finally, I came to the final lines and recognized a romantic inside Whitman, much like myself.
"I bequeath myself to the dirt to grow from the grass I love / If you want me again look for me under your boot-soles / You will hardly know who I am or what I mean / But I shall be good health to you nevertheless / And filter and fibre your blood / Failing to fetch me at first keep encouraged / Missing me one place search another / I stop somewhere waiting for you."
I think those are some of the most romantic words ever written. I feel a kinship to Whitman, I feel that he truly wanted to be the best influence and voice to the American people. He had high hopes & dreams, and he tried very hard to use his poetry as a conduit to reach deep inside us. I've read a lot of his poems since January, when I first read those beautiful lines in "Song of Myself." There have been poems in between that I have fallen in love with, but I haven't felt his spirit, like I do here. Now, after reading "So Long" I feel like I have that connection back. He says,
"I have press'd through in my own right / I have sung the body and the soul, war and peace have I sung, and the songs of life and death / And the songs of birth, and shown that there are many births / I have offer'd my style to every one, I have journey'd with confident step; / While my pleasure is yet at the full I whisper So long! / And take the young woman's hand and the young man's hand for the last time." ..."Dear friend whoever you are take this kiss / I give it especially to you, do not forget me / I feel like one who has done work for the day to retire awhile, / I receive now again of my many translations, from my avataras ascending, while others doubtless await me / An unknown sphere more real that I dream'd, more direct, darts awakening rays about me, So long!"
He is speaking to us, to you and I. He is addressing us because we are his legacy. We will interpret his poetry and pass it forward. We will become his voice as we wish for a better America. He knew that a day would come and America would be bigger and better than everywhere else. He had high hopes for us, but he had fears as well. He saw sickness in politics and between people who were selfishly caught up in their own lives. He saw war bring death and it changed him. It ripped him up inside much like it does to us today. He tried to stand up for the little people, to ask us not to be so judgmental. I find myself jumping to conclusions when truly, people deserve the benefit of the doubt.
Someday I will write a novel, and I will think back about all of the people who influenced me in life. Mostly, I will think of friends and family because they are a part of who I am, but I will think of Whitman and the beauty of his poetry, and I hope that the lines of my novel will paint a picture of my soul.
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